A recent Headline News survey question caused me much concern: “What should President Obama do about Iran?”

Was I having auditory hallucinations? Had I slipped into some bizarre parallel universe? Perhaps I was  just having a senior moment induced by the relentless summer heat. A quick google search put me somewhat at ease: Obama is indeed NOT the president of Iran but, in fact, is the president of the U.S. as I have strongly suspected since the last inauguration when his holiness took the oath of office.  The United States of America  - not Iran, not Iraq, not Afghanistan, not Pluto, and not Cygnus X1. From whence does this strange assumption come from that the U.S. (or just Obama) is responsible for Iran?

I don’t hear Iranians, for example, asking us to do anything about Iran. They’ve probably paid pretty close attention to what’s been happening with their “liberated” neighbors. Asking the U.S. to come help you with your political unrest is akin to inviting John Wayne Gacy to be the clown at your child’s birthday party. Hopefully, in this case, a simple no thankyou will suffice, but, as we’ve seen, the U.S. has come to believe that it doesn’t NEED an invitation to come to your rescue. You can bet your sweet ass that the CIA has been an uninvited guest in Iran since just right after the Big Bang and a cursory glance at rogue U.S. government history could lead a reasonable person to suspect that the U.S. government actually CAUSED the current melee in Iran to fulfill some nefarious political agenda.

What are Iranians going to do about Iran? What’s Obama going to do about the United States - besides expanding its debt and perpetuating the false notion that federal government is the answer to everything? What are WE going to do about president Obama? That would seem to be a much more pressing question.

While we’re arbitrarily spreading responsibilities paper thin across the globe why shouldn’t I be asking the the Republic of Haiti what it’s going to do about my 401k plan or what Mother Teresa is going to do about my raging Viagra boner? Since we’re talking about having the bankrupt U.S. make decisions for yet another remote and alien land that our average adult citizen can’t find on a map, these seem like apt comparisons.

 I guess we’re supposed to take some solice in Obama being pseudo muslim and is consequently prevented by this religious affiliation from pulling a George Bush on us, but has no one noticed that muslims (just like most other religions and races) regularly murder each other with all the concern one might have for dog feces stuck to the bottom of one’s shoe?  And you don’t get to be president of the U.S. without rattling your sabre and having a willingness to slaughter millions at the drop of a hat. Let’s be honest here: “Doing something” about Iran will entail murdering lots of innocent people … in order to protect them from being murdered. Such is the logic of our times.